Dr. Nefarious: Now that I have you at my mercy, Agent 008, * nothing can stop my diabolical plan! * Prepare to die! Any last words? * (pause) No? All right then. * (activates death trap)
Agent 008: The crocodile pit? Again? Really? Couldn't you at least come up with anything new?
Dr. Nefarious: Ah, but this time I've made a few... improvements. * You should appreciate that, you know. Crom knows I don't have the time to fix up new death traps for every idiot who blunders along, * but as my archnemesis you rate a little extra effort.
Agent 008: I mean, seriously, you couldn't at least switch to piranhas or something?
Dr. Nefarious: Bah! Piranhas went out of fashion years ago.
Agent 008: Improvements? What kind of improvements?
Dr. Nefarious: A little something I cooked up in the genetics lab. Instead of ordinary crocodiles, you are now faced with... mutant crocodile-monkeys!
Agent 008: I'm flattered.
Dr. Nefarious: You should be. I went to a lot of effort on this one. Nobody appreciates craftsmanship anymore.
Agent 008: At your mercy? Come on, Doctor Nefarious, you know I always escape from these things. Why don't you make it easier on all of us and surrender now?
Dr. Nefarious: Bwahahahaha! Your audacity amuses me. Soon my doomsday device will activate, * and then your precious agency shall surrender to me! * I haven't decided yet whether to blast them from the face of the Earth or keep them as my personal slaves. Pity you won't live to find out!
Agent 008: Okay, kill me now. I can't stand listening to you practice your evil laugh on me one more time.
Dr. Nefarious: I'll have you know my laugh is much admired in the evil community!
Agent 008: Doomsday device? So that's what you were mailing to the United Nations!
Dr. Nefarious: Yes! And now that the device is in place, the world is doomed!
Agent 008: They'll never surrender to you!
Dr. Nefarious: Oh, won't they? They'll have to, when they realize I can wipe entire countries off the map with my patented unobtainium ray!
Agent 008: Diabolical plan? What was it this time, Doctor Nefarious? Trying to steal Christmas?
Dr. Nefarious: Hardly! My plan is sheer elegance in its simplicity. * I always knew I was brilliant, * but this time I've outdone myself with genius!
Agent 008: Whatever it is, you won't get away with it.
Dr. Nefarious: That's where you're wrong, my do-gooder friend. This time, I shall rule the world!
Agent 008: I'll bet. Don't you always say that?
Dr. Nefarious: That doesn't make it any less true.
Agent 008: Oh really? And what exactly is this brilliant plan of yours?
Dr. Nefarious: Wouldn't you like to know, Agent 008? But I'm not fool enough to simply tell you!
Agent 008: Wait! What's that behind you?
Dr. Nefarious: Nice try, 008, but you cannot fool me with such simple stratagems. * I have proven myself your intellectual superior, * and you are alive even now only because it amuses me to have you at my mercy.
Agent 008: No, really! There's something behind you!
Dr. Nefarious: Do not attempt to distract me, 008, or I warn you I shall make your death even more painful than I had originally planned.
Agent 008: Yeah? What about that time at the Antarctic base?
Dr. Nefarious: You didn't fool me! I only turned around to lull you into a false sense of security.
Agent 008: Intellectual superior! Don't make me laugh. If you're so much smarter than me, then why have none of your plans for world conquest ever succeeded?
Dr. Nefarious: Ah, but this one will. This time it's foolproof!
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